Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
