i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
