Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Welp...herpes.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
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