she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
