Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
youre lurking in front of me
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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