I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
