Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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