It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
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