Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen

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(781): my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen http://tfl.nu/zgta

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(843): View more from South Carolina

His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.

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(843): His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked. http://tfl.nu/h1xn

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(214): View more from Texas

Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.

(214): View more from Texas

If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"

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(214): Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window. (214): If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day" http://tfl.nu/2bzp

Replies (14) Good night (3959) Bad night (496)
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(616): View more from Michigan

Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him

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(616): Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him http://tfl.nu/azjb

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(224): View more from Illinois

I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am

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(224): I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am http://tfl.nu/o84u

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(201): View more from New Jersey

at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."

(1-201): View more from New Jersey

youre welcome

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(201): at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.." (1-201): youre welcome http://tfl.nu/sjha

Replies (10) Good night (5594) Bad night (875)
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(714): View more from California

If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.

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(714): If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual. http://tfl.nu/13n4

Replies (10) Good night (2330) Bad night (1144) Order T-Shirt
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(714): View more from California

I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.

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(714): I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later. http://tfl.nu/riev

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(815): View more from Illinois

Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?

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(815): Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train? http://tfl.nu/kbte

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(972): View more from Texas

Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.

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(972): Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life. http://tfl.nu/6m4u

Replies (10) Good night (2270) Bad night (651) Order T-Shirt
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(720): View more from Colorado

It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment

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(720): It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment http://tfl.nu/cuki

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(865): View more from Tennessee

If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.

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(865): If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch. http://tfl.nu/4ij5

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(513): View more from Ohio

If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.

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(513): If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy. http://tfl.nu/099u

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(574): View more from Indiana

well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.

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(574): well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test. http://tfl.nu/4a57

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.

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(+44): Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process. http://tfl.nu/j8pd

Replies (1) Good night (477) Bad night (169) Order T-Shirt

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