Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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