Texts From Last Night

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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.

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  (508): she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her. http://tfl.nu/2xab
  Replies (50) Good night (789) Bad night (3466)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes

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  (618): Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes http://tfl.nu/lxst
  Replies (12) Good night (504) Bad night (3939)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?

  (1-918): View more from Oklahoma

  No thats like a top 10

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  (918): is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night? (1-918): No thats like a top 10 http://tfl.nu/uawo
  Replies (35) Good night (6642) Bad night (907)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.

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  (219): I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore. http://tfl.nu/bvdb
  Replies (11) Good night (4225) Bad night (1761)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro

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  (530): so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro http://tfl.nu/frkc
  Replies (5) Good night (1689) Bad night (744)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.

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  (406): You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic. http://tfl.nu/4fes
  Replies (2) Good night (838) Bad night (612)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.

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  (931): Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this. http://tfl.nu/inch
  Replies (8) Good night (4219) Bad night (789)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever

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  (419): The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever http://tfl.nu/s7ex
  Replies (10) Good night (668) Bad night (1603)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.

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  (405): The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore. http://tfl.nu/c65h
  Replies (4) Good night (1030) Bad night (475)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul

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  (218): I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul http://tfl.nu/2csp
  Replies (3) Good night (582) Bad night (307)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce

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  (847): I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce http://tfl.nu/nrhe
  Replies (1) Good night (645) Bad night (336)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win

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  (425): I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win http://tfl.nu/52ex
  Replies (5) Good night (512) Bad night (197)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...

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  (647): Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but... http://tfl.nu/6fcg
  Replies (0) Good night (378) Bad night (227)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  .It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort

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  (978): .It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort http://tfl.nu/ljpb
  Replies (1) Good night (245) Bad night (299)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.

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  (508): I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava. http://tfl.nu/8g6j
  Replies (0) Good night (434) Bad night (278)

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