Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  In the future we'll all be gay

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  (586): In the future we'll all be gay http://tfl.nu/j6qt
  Replies (7) Good night (1499) Bad night (926)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing

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  (937): oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing http://tfl.nu/lc8m
  Replies (75) Good night (5595) Bad night (896)
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  (916): View more from California

  How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.

  (1-916): View more from California

  Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.

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  (916): How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids. (1-916): Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions. http://tfl.nu/28ax
  Replies (27) Good night (4028) Bad night (1180)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.

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  (603): Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment. http://tfl.nu/y50b
  Replies (16) Good night (2325) Bad night (2404)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer

  (678): View more from Georgia

  you spelled her name wrong

  (404): View more from Georgia

  not you too!!

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  (404): I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer (678): you spelled her name wrong (404): not you too!! http://tfl.nu/woxr
  Replies (49) Good night (1645) Bad night (4589)
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  (925): View more from California

  Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.

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  (925): Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager. http://tfl.nu/yj7y
  Replies (8) Good night (2490) Bad night (1050)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.

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  (201): We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home. http://tfl.nu/pssh
  Replies (35) Good night (2388) Bad night (1403)
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  (510): View more from California

  It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.

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  (510): It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello. http://tfl.nu/um1l
  Replies (4) Good night (2268) Bad night (718)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.

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  (603): I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail. http://tfl.nu/cdnn
  Replies (3) Good night (598) Bad night (1374)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered

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  (585): Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered http://tfl.nu/ct7k
  Replies (13) Good night (1444) Bad night (1052)
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.

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  (575): You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence. http://tfl.nu/h3k6
  Replies (13) Good night (1811) Bad night (652)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun

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  (614): I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun http://tfl.nu/01eg
  Replies (14) Good night (1388) Bad night (1051)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die

  (1-616): View more from Michigan

  that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida

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  (616): dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die (1-616): that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida http://tfl.nu/3jsk
  Replies (6) Good night (1302) Bad night (601)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!

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  (616): I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever! http://tfl.nu/7fus
  Replies (6) Good night (511) Bad night (836)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks

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  (870): she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks http://tfl.nu/glna
  Replies (0) Good night (310) Bad night (965)

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