Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
