it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
