Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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