At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
