I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
