after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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