At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future