Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
These 21 Declassified Government Horrors Are Unimaginable
Use "feeling words"
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Can you repeat that, but with context?