:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.