my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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