Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
