there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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