I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
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Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
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I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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