My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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