threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
