We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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