Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
