My nipple is on Facebook.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
