Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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