I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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