Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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