You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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