Well apparently he's into motor boating.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
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The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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