you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
