I want to have your abortion
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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