the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
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