she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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