i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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