YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
