i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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