a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
