lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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