My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
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