So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
