i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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