can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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