i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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