The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
