Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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