Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
