And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
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I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
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I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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