I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I think a kid would responsible me up
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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