It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
