he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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