I love black thongs
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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