Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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