you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
