I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
