Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
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Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
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Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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