Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
