At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm too high and old for this...
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
