dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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